phil
12-09-2007, 03:21 PM
All answers gratefully received:D:D
Did you ever stop and wonder......
**Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
**Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum..' *
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?*
*Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?*
*Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?*
*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?*
*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?#
* *Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?*
*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?*
*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?*
*Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? *
*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know
the batteries are flat?*
*Why is it that people say they 'slept like a
baby' when babies wake up every two hours?*
*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? *
*What is the speed of darkness?*
*Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the
Special Olympics?*
*If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
*If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?*
*Do married people live longer than single ones, or does it only seem longer?*
*Do you cry under water?*
*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?*
*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?*
*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?*
*Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?*
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs?!*
*Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??*
*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?*
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,......then what is baby oil made from?*
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?*
** * * * * * 'Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . .' * * * ** **
*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?*
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? *
*Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster? * *Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? *
* Do you ever wonder why your head might explode if you didn't send this to at least 20 people within 3 seconds of receiving this Email?? .....I'd get a move on!!
Did you ever stop and wonder......
**Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
**Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum..' *
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?*
*Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?*
*Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?*
*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?*
*Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?#
* *Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?*
*Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?*
*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?*
*Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? *
*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know
the batteries are flat?*
*Why is it that people say they 'slept like a
baby' when babies wake up every two hours?*
*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? *
*What is the speed of darkness?*
*Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the
Special Olympics?*
*If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
*If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?*
*Do married people live longer than single ones, or does it only seem longer?*
*Do you cry under water?*
*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?*
*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?*
*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?*
*Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?*
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs?!*
*Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??*
*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?*
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,......then what is baby oil made from?*
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?*
** * * * * * 'Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . .' * * * ** **
*Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?*
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? *
*Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster? * *Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? *
* Do you ever wonder why your head might explode if you didn't send this to at least 20 people within 3 seconds of receiving this Email?? .....I'd get a move on!!